The Start of Something…

I have been working on this essay in my mind for several years now. I am not sure who it is intended for or what I hope to accomplish, but anytime I log online to search things like, “easy soy free, vegan recipes for one,” or “how to cope with menopause in your 20s when your glasses are fogging up from hot flashes and you’re losing sleep to night sweats and loneliness knowing your peers are out partying and sharing their sweat in a night club.” I assume that is what they are doing… I have never been in a night club so cannot speak on the patrons. 

I have been 80 since I turned 11. Middle school really was about the time that I started joking about being an octogenarian. Even my doctor would quip that I was, “doing great for someone in their 70s.” I already knew at that age what my life might look like. I have never wanted marriage or kids, though the idea of being a stepmom or adopting always intrigued me. While my classmates dreamed of wedding dresses and marrying their favorite member of NSYNC, I was adamant that was not the life for me and if I ever found myself in a situation where I needed to plan nuptials, I was certain of one thing — I would be stomping down the aisle in my faded chucks to Leslie Gore’s,  “You Don’t Own Me.” A sentiment I still hold.  

Middle school aged me would not be surprised at all to hear I am a 34-year-old spinster and single mom to a black cat that loves me third best in the household. I fall in line behind our resident dog, Lola, and my grandmother, who spends each day giving her the chin scratches she likes while I am out of the house at work. I imagine I exist in a somewhat small circle of post-menopausal, chronically ill, 30-something year old cat mom creatives, because I haven’t been able to find our community online and the only other thing I am chronically is online. Every time I pull up Google and fail to find the connections I am looking for, I think for approximately half a second that someone like me is also looking to relate. So, why not put myself out there and see if it will resonate with someone? 

I think of unraveling like peeling back the layers, being vulnerable. So here I am, unraveling a little at a time. Perhaps the best way to start is with a little introduction? Here are 10 things about me:

1.      My name is Tawnie, named after the infamous Tawny Kitaen. My dad saw her dance on the hood of that car in the Whitesnake video and here we are. 

2.      I have a 6-year-old black cat named Jinx after Jinkx Monsoon that I adopted on National Black Cat Day in 2019.

3.      My favorite color is purple, specifically a deep eggplant shade. 

4.      I learned to knit just over a decade ago and have made more fingerless gloves than I can count.

5.      I have been a vegetarian since age 11.

6.      I have broken 13 bones, including every finger and toe. 

7.      I drive a purple electric assist tricycle.

8.      I have fostered over 300 dogs since helping start a local dog rescue in 2014.

9.      I have a rare blood disorder – Type 3, Hormone Dependent, Hereditary Angioedema along with a myriad of overlapping medical woes. 

10.    I really want to connect with you.